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The Power of Connections: How Surrounding Yourself with the Right People Can Transform Your Life
Does having the right people in our inner circle matter? Is there any real power of connections that bring remarkable changes in our life?
There is a famous quote by Jim Rohn:
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
But who we spend our time with affects us so much?
Following is an excerpt from The Millionaire Fastlane showing the power of connections we make:
'At age 16, for a school prank, David ignites a smoke bomb in the school bus, and 14 children suffer smoke inhalation. Fortunately, those children recovered quickly, but David's 10-day stay in juvenile detention forever thrusts David's life down a different path. David meets Rudy, who teaches David the "rules" of the perfect burglary. This relationship forges David's new career choice-thievery. After avoiding the law for seven years, David get caught, convicted, and sentenced to nine years in prison.'
Such news is quite common, showing the power of connections when one gets misguided due to the associations the person makes.
Obesity spreads to friends, the study concludes:
The research was published in 2007, highlighting the importance of the inner circle, where the objective was to find out whether your peers have any effect on your weight.
According to studies, obesity can spread from person to person, much like a virus. Close friends frequently gain weight when one of them does.
The study was of a sizable social network of 12,067 individuals regularly monitored for 32 years, from 1971 to 2003. In addition to knowing who was a spouse, sibling, or neighbor, also who were friends with whom, the investigators also knew each person’s weight over three decades.
According to the researchers, people were more likely to gain weight when a friend did. That elevated a person’s likelihood of developing obesity by 57%.
However, it made no difference if a neighbor gained or lost weight, and relatives had less impact than friends. Even if the friend lived thousands of miles away, the influence persisted. The most substantial effect of all came from overlapping close friends. There, the likelihood of both getting obese increased by 171% if one became obese.
Are you now astonished by the power of connections?
According to Dr. Nicholas Christakis, a physician, professor of medical sociology at Harvard Medical School, and lead researcher on the current study, an explanation is that friends impact one another’s perceptions of fatness. Obesity may not seem so dreadful when a close friend develops the condition.
“Looking at the individuals around you might alter your perception of what constitutes an acceptable body type,” Christakis sai
People and their Identities:
If you’ve read Atomic Habits, you would already know the relationships between our habits and identities.
Our habits are the branch of our identities. What we believe in, how we think, and what we are, shape us.
The better our thought process, and our identity, the better and healthier our habits.
Our thought processes and identity gets influenced by our experiences, knowledge, and outcomes of various events that either solidify the old belief system or become an event that leads the way to The Bannister Effect.
Thus comes the role of two major things:
1) Your Environment ( The Nature)
2) Your Inner Circle ( The Nurture)
Talking about the role of the environment in shaping your future is a talk about another article.
Let’s focus on my and your inner circle.
In general terms, we tend to adopt the decision made by the group consensus.
Your friends, or peers, are people who are close in age to you and who share your experiences and interests. Every day, you and your pals make dozens of decisions that impact one another’s preferences and actions. It is frequently a good thing. It’s natural to listen to and learn from individuals your age.
Remember the last time you and your friends decided where to party? Which restaurant to head out to?
The most obvious choice was to go to a place many of you voted for, even if you are not a big fan of it.
And if that becomes the regular choice, you begin not to dislike it,
which eventually changes into your own go-to place. You can think of many more events where your group decided.
Now mind you, this could go either way. You could either pick a place where the food is healthy or choose a place where you eat a lot of junk food and eventually become fat. Like, the research concluded above.
It becomes your identity, and you absorb new ideas you were otherwise uninterested in.
And you may rightly ask why we tend to adopt new ideas. Why can’t we have our own?
In Atomic Habits, you will find the following excerpt,”
Humans are herd animals. We want to fit in, bond with others, and earn the respect and approval of our peers. Such inclinations are essential to our survival. For most of our evolutionary history, our ancestors lived in tribes. Becoming separated from the tribe-or worse, being cast out-was a death sentence. "The lone wolf dies, but the pack survives."
With the intention to fit in, be accepted, or avoid feeling awkward or uncomfortable, you might feel pressured to conform. You instinctively seek others for indications about what is and isn’t appropriate when unclear about what to do in a social setting.
The power of connections and the effects of our inner circle run more in-depth than you think.
Building The Right Connections and Good Relationships:
Until now, we understood how our groups can influence our identity. We can use this power of connections to our advantage by learning the skills and beliefs we always wanted.
Everyone wants to become the better version of themselves and have dozens of skills in their mind which would make them better.
Learning new skills could be daunting unless you have the right kind of people with you. People who regularly have the skills you aspire to have.
Surrounding yourself with them can allow you to uplift yourselves and build a new normal.
Look around yourself and analyze the kind of people you already have. Is there something missing? Are these people helping you to build your dream or work to step on them?
Having the morale-boosting type of friends, providing you with every ounce of encouragement, is very rare and challenging work, to be honest.
That is why you’ll observe the competition in top university balloon up every year.
The course and the structure are basically the same for a particular degree. So why does the top college demand 10x the fees than a lower-ranked college for the same degree?
Why is it so? Is it because of the placement records? Is it about the number of companies that comes for recruitment?
I find that hard to believe.
The reason for such an event, I feel, is because of the kind of environment you get to live in when you join such a prestigious institute.
Peer-Learning is much more impactful than any other type.
The environment encourages you to stretch your mind to the farthest, indirectly forcing you to choose constructive habits.
It leads to choosing the right decisions and ultimately driving your life wherever you feel like.
The following are some ways that more successful peers can help you on your path to success:
1) Inspiration and Motivation: Being with ambitious, determined peers may be a constant source of inspiration and motivation. It might inspire a similar passion in you to witness those around you working hard, creating and achieving objectives, and pushing their limitations. Their perseverance and successes can inspire you to strive for perfection by reminding you that success is possible.
2) Opportunities for Collaboration and Networking: Creating connections with people who share your goals and interests opens up possibilities for collaboration. Together, you can attain collective goals that may be difficult to reach individually by utilizing each other’s strengths and complementing one another’s skills. Additionally, your peers may have networks and contacts that can lead to mentorship, collaboration, and new opportunities.
3) Accountability and Support: Your actions get held accountable when you have a supportive peer group. Peers who care about your achievement can offer you constructive criticism, inspiration, and support. They assist in keeping you on course and ensuring you remain dedicated to and focused on your goals. They also give you advice, a shoulder to lean on, and assistance in overcoming hurdles during trying times.
4) Sharing knowledge and developing skills: Better peers frequently have knowledge, experiences, and abilities. Interacting with them exposes you to other viewpoints and views. They can open your mind to new concepts, impart insightful knowledge, and offer advice in their areas of specialization. This peer-to-peer learning and skill-sharing can hasten your academic progress and personal growth
5) Emotional Well-being and Confidence: Being around supportive and upbeat peers helps you feel like you belong and improves your emotional well-being. Your confidence gets heightened when you have friends who respect your abilities, rejoice in your accomplishments, and offer support when you have disappointments. The boosted self-confidence translates into a more upbeat outlook, toughness in the face of difficulties, and a readiness to take chances, which are essential for success.
Conclusion:
Never undervalue the power of your peer group when trying to succeed. You can get motivation, accountability, expertise, collaboration, and emotional support by surrounding yourself and building good relationships with ambitious, encouraging, and like-minded people. Their influence can increase your motivation, talents, network, and chances of success in general. By surrounding yourself with better peers who challenge, motivate, and uplift you, you foster a good environment that drives you closer to realizing your potential and accomplishing your goals.
